Sex and Lies or Rights and Responsibilities

 

I have read many posts on reddit about guys and girls who feel used - the other person dated them and then ghosted them and they don't understand why.  They felt it was perfect and they had a match.  They connected and fit together well, and then poof ... disappeared !!  

Does it happen?  Often, but some people just dismiss it without much thought and move on.  Others maybe were ghosting the person who ghosted them and never realized they had been ghosted.  Some people have the 'talk' - its not you its me and thank you and have a nice life.  Others just disappear.  A few make it through the gauntlet of sex first then dating.  Are there others - people who do it differently and don't jump first?  Yes, but they are the ones who probably don't stock shelves with the same soda, can fix a roof in less than a week, and probably are not the problem I see so often.

It's the others.

In some states you can have sex at 12 (and by some at least a half dozen) as long as the older person is not more than 2 years older meaning 12 and almost 14 would be ok.  In some states it is 13 and 2 years older meaning 15 would be ok. In some states it is 16 and age jumps to 4 years older so the older person can't be more than almost 20.  And then many others it is 17 and the rest are 18.

Why do we believe a 12 year old can have sex.  Because they can, physically.  But are they emotionally and psychologically ready for the act and the consequences?  I would say 99.999% NO.  And because .0001 can and would doesn't mean I make a law saying its ok.  That person can wait in the best interests of the majority.

Are 14 year olds ready to make that step and do they understand the gravity of sex.  I am sure they can manage the physical part - it is not too complicated BUT the emotional part is much more.  It can have a lifetime effect.  It can be a psychological obstacle in the future.  They do not understand - it is like looking at a box with a pin hole and they see a tiny light through the hole yet they have no idea what is on the other side ... and when they get to the other side there is NO returning to innocence.  Yet that is what we really want and occasionally return to many times in our life - times that were simpler and less complicated and less stressful ... so why are we as parents so willing to let them go head first into the abyss.  Why.  Maybe we should work at the market and put up the Celsius cans on the shelf.

Are 16 year olds ready for the seriousness of sex?  What if a person had sex at 12 with someone 13.  And had sex at 13 with someone 14, and had sex at 14 with someone 16, and sex at 15 with someone 17.  They have had 5 partners by 16.  Then at 16 they had sex with a 19 year old, and at 17 they had sex with a 20 year old.  By the time they hit 18 they have already had 5-6 partners and they have sex with a 30 year old at 18, and a 35 year old ... their right, yes?  It is their body, but is there someone more, something deeper that has been lost in the rush to be so in control of their body.  What if they had sex with 14 people by the time they were 16, all appropriately legal age differences.  Why would it be so wrong to have sex with a 25 year old (after everyone else) who has never had sex before?  Explain to me the rationale as to why a 16 year old who has had sex with 14 people, cannot have sex with a 25 year old virgin.  Please.  And ... why can't the person have sex with a 30 year old who has had 15 partners.  And what if the 14 year old had sex with 20 people all between the ages of 13 and 15.  It would be legal ... so why can't the 14 year old have sex with a 40 year old who has had 4 sex partners.  

Please explain to me why this is not okay but allowing them to have sex is fine.Because the 40 year old is more mature?  Maybe but not necessarily.  Wiser?  Maybe but they may also be the workers at the market filling the shelf with Celsius or fixing a patch on the roof in a week.  Wiser?  Not necessarily.  

So maybe age can be arbitrary and if so, who decides?  The parents?  Please.  If parents should decide then why are parents not told their children are having sex or taking birth control pills at school when the school is aware.  Why are parents not told their kid is dressing up as an alternate gender.  But if the kid takes a gun to school, the parent is held responsible and liable ... So parents are responsible but they can't know, but they can be liable, but they won't be told ...  I wouldn't want to have kids with that pressure.  Maybe just sell mine off into slavery ... which raises another story ...

A man, waited at the border in the dark for the transit pass into the other country. He had been promised a new life in return for a 'favor' back in his hometown.  He did his part and was waiting for the promised ticket.  He had also been promised cash to live on in the new country.  As he waits, he is approached by two men who seem to have someone with them.  They hand the man a ticket and point toward the transport into the other country.  The man is hesitant.  He gesticulates toward the transport - it is a military vehicle from the other country.  He is worried.  The two men reassure him, and tell him the other country sends its military to help bring anyone crossing into the country, over to their cities.  The man calms down but asks about the money he was promised.  The two men push forward a little girl.  They tell him to take her, claim her as his daughter, and wen he gets to the new land, to sell her for sex.  Then when she has been used enough, sell her as a whore on the street.  They promise she will bring in more than $2,000 each time when she is still under 8 because some men like that and will pay huge sums.  They promise him he will be set for a couple years.  The man asks what eh should do with her if anyone asks about her or wants documents.  The two men hand him paperwork and laugh.  Just tell them you don't understand what they are asking and laugh.  They walk away.  The man walks toward the transport with the little girl. 

Hmm.  I wonder.  I must have a very nasty and cynical mind to think of such evil.  Probably.  No one would ever do such evil.  No one.  Ever.  Anywhere.  

We have become so permissive of so much that is intolerable.  So much evil becomes an unknown and we cannot make such claims against people, it is a phobic of some type.  Yet it is real and does occur and that scenario is and has played out as I described ... sadly, probably more than a few times.  Yet, what if the girl was not 8 but was 12.  Could she not choose who she has sex with?  We allow it here as long as the older person is within 2 years of the younger persons age.   We allow 13 year olds to take birth control and have it administered or managed by the school, that will not inform parents.  We have schools that will not inform parents their children are having sex at school or are known to have sex at school, or are dressing in alternate gender dress ... it isn't the parents right to know.

So who decides the acceptable age for children to have sex?  If a 13 year old can change their gender ... can not a 13 year old decide to have sex?  And, to decide whom they will have sex with?  For is not age less of an issue, when you have already accepted the fact the child can take hormone pills to change their gender / sex ... why is who they have sex with even relevant any more.  And if it isn't relevant, then the 13 year old girl who is brought across the border by the man ... is a perfectly acceptable situation, if the girl freely chooses it.  Who is to say.  Ask her.  I know the answer already.  Save yourself the time.

Do you not see the hole you dig deeper with every claim to protecting a child's decision and choice. No, I don't suppose you do.  Perhaps you can sign up for the National Guard ... and work part time putting energy drinks on market shelves, and when you need extra money you can roof.